On Diwali, Diya's, Daaru and Teen Patti

Was there in Delhi for Diwali :The festival of Lights, the festival where gifts, sweets and dry-fruits are exchanged as a symbol of prosperity. The festival of Diwali mela's and crackers and of course the festival of Diya's, Daaru and Teen Patti...No other festival I know of has this many dimensions... We all have heard the term "festive spirit" an awful lot....over the years the only spirit that I have witnessed during festival time is the one that gets consumed!!! Well, this Diwali was no different for many Delhites. Yes, the unfortunate blasts did dampen the "spirit". The dead were remembered with candles and diyas being lit at site of the blasts in their memory. Coming back to the lights part....there was an abundance of the varieties of Diyas and Candles that were available in the market. What seem to have caught the fancy of most are the floating candles.Ofcourse the Chinese had a good part to play as there were lots of crackers from China. I remember having to dig out the old "ladi" (string) of lights every Diwali and standing with a tester in hand and extra bulble trying to get the lights working. Now only a fool would go through the pains. You get beautiful LED ladis with all kinds of different flicker combinations for 25-30 bucks!!! Use and throw!! But I am a true blue Indian...I believe in Use and Re-Use and Re-Use till the damned thing doesn't work!! Meanwhile a growing majority took to what has become the "thing-to-do" during the weeks preceeding Diwali...playing Teen Patti aka Flash or for the uninitiated lot a card game most preferred for gambling. I guess like all other things this too has a mythological connection. It is believed that on this day, Goddess Parvati played dice with her husband Lord Shiva and she decreed that whosoever gambled on Diwali night would prosper throughout the ensuing year. What goes along unsaid with this is the modern tradition of drinking! Reminds me of Big B's dialogue in Sholay ....the one where he goes "daaru bhi tabhi peeta hai jab jua khelta hai"...or something along those lines. Now, I have been willy-nilly a part of this whole daru and teen patti tradition but what used to amaze me is the single minded dedication with which people approach it. During the 2, almost 3 weeks that preceed Diwali, people meet up for playing cards almost every second night with the frequency, hours of play, booze consumed and the stakes increasing as Diwali night approaches. People don't really bother whether the host is known to them or not, as long as you have an invitee along with you almost anybody is welcome. In fact the more the merrier!! There's a common purse to which all contribute to an initial agreed amount and from the winnings as and when. This helps recover all the expenses for the party. No free lunches here!! Like I mentioned the drive to play is so high that no matter how late you were the previous night or how much you lost or how much you had to drink the previous night does'nt seem to come in the way of going for the next patti session!! Another thing is how much people are willing to stretch over and above their means to be able to be a part of this craze. People win big and loose bigger...Diwali in many ways is a great leveller.. The common question when friends meet is not "How are you doing?" but "Are you up or down this season?"

I found the answers to many of these questions this Diwali. As they would say in Delhi... I was "UP" this season!!!

Crazy Lil Thing Called Love

How often have you heard people say that they're waiting for the right person to come into their life. Well I heard it AGAIN recently and that set me thinking. No I am not setting out to define what love is...

Is there truly such a thing called love at first sight?? Well a friend and a roomie of mine from engineering days used to fall in love every week!!! OK..OK... I am exaggerating. He'd spend days and plot how he'd propose. Unfortunately...he never got around to doing it on any of the seven occassions that he professed love for a female.

All said and done....you need to know a person well to like somebody and then to start loving them and I dont know whether you can pre-determine your liking for someone whom you dont really know. Even with all the vibes, it sure takes time before one of them muster up enough courage to say that they're in love. If I may take the liberty to generalise... I guess thats the way it goes for most.

On the other hand the generation preceeding us was one where marriages being arranged was the norm. But aren't our parents in love with each other? I guess like many other things people learn to love. It IS possible for people to fall in love AFTER getting married.That brings me to another point. Does marriage have to be the next thing?

If love be liking someone so much that you want to spend the rest of life with them, share your hopes and dreams with them and in turn share theirs, if love is wanting others to take you as you are and for what you are... then I guess love has to mean being friends...friends for life!!

Reminds me of that Michael Bolton song...."How can we be lovers if we can't be friends....."

So here's to people learning to love and to finding that friend they can spend the rest of their lives with.

F.R.I.E.N.D.S.....Family You Can Choose!!!!

For most of us the growing up years of school are the times that we cherish. I bet many of us were asked to write essays on "My Best Friend". Looking back at the years gone by, almost feel that friends are the family life lets you choose. Not to say that the I have complaints about the one I have (and no I'm not buttering up to my parents!!!).
I'm sure all of us have those cousins who irritate us no end and uncles who are snoots and aunts who's son is better than you at everything. But when it comes to friends its different. These are people you've chosen to be with or those who have chosen you to be with. Either way it's a two way street. When you're with friends it does'nt matter who picks up the tab after a couple of drinks at the pub. You don't maintain books..most loans are on non-returnable basis! I guess what sets friends apart is the that there are no set expectations from friends..just that they are around.
My favourite friend moment was when a friend of mine called me and asked me what I was doing and when I said "Nothin" pat came the reply "Me too! Come over and we'll do nothing together!!" Thats what friendship is all about. The ability to do nothing together! Who hasn't spent endless hours just hanging around! Milkshake at ones place, followed by sandwiches at the next guys place.

Having said that, with friends you don't have to ask. We've all told those little lies for a friend. A little bit of truth bending. And no, friendship is not only about covering up its also about showing the way to the best of our capabilities. Yes, sometimes plans go horribly wrong.

Friendship is a spirit that does not age..you can press the pause button for days..months maybe even years and start from where you left off. Friendship is not only about reminisceing the moments spent together; it's about creating one more moment every time you do!!!!

As John Lennon put it..."I get by with a lil help from my friends..."

The Thin Line.....

Emotions like everything else in life are a part of a continuum. They do not appear in discrete packets. There is an intermediary stage before irritation turns to anger, a smile turns into a laughter, between pulling someones leg and being mean and when assertiveness becomes stubborness. Most if I may add are from the perspective of the watcher than the do-ee (I picked this from Everybody Loves Raymond)

So the question now is whether there's a thin line separating these stages, how many degrees separate these stages and who owns the line? My guess is its most always the watcher.

Brings me back to the fact that everything that we say or do today is driven by perceptions (good or bad, right or wrong). Though we've made great advances in Communication Technology what has taken a beating is the Inter-personal communication. We are too shy or too proud to go ask people what they think about what we are doing, have done or plan to do. Resultantly, we assume a reaction of a certain kind and go ahead with whatever we wanted to do..."I ate the entire chocolate because I thought you did not want it" or "We went and watched the play..didn't think you'd be interested" There are ofcourse zillion such examples.

Coming back to the thin line.... Is there a way to set the bar? Can we actually define words like anger and come to one common understanding on what it means and when it actually sets in?? If we actually did, I bet we'd wipe out the entire man-woman poking around gig. On second thoughts, life then wouldn't be too much fun either.

Guess the only way to get around this is, that as an individual, much like an umpire in cricket we have to display consistency in our interpretation of the rule and call that delivery a wide or a no-ball at exactly the same point everytime and regardless of who. And as the saying goes in cricket "The line belongs to the umpire!"

Closure...Putting 2 and 2 2gether

What’s with the human mind? Why are our minds constantly in this great hurry to jump to conclusions? Any inputs from any of our senses seems to trigger the absorb, process, analyze and deduce sequence.

You see two colleagues of opposite sex sitting together and having lunch…bang they must be going around. A colleague walks away to take a call on hand-phone…you go it must be his wife or at other times must be a placement consultant! Cricketers are not faring well… Oh! Those guys spend more time shooting for commercials than in the nets! There are numerous such examples of people doing such things (would have done it ourselves). Well! Lets face it we are judgemental.

We give no room for things to have happened as a coincidence or out of force of habit. For many of us there HAS to be a reason behind every event and occurrence. Therefore the need to create, maintain/change and manage perceptions. Then starts the battle between one’s self-image and perceived image. For many of us perception is reality.

We are a species that takes its place in the evolution chain to seriously. But why take our analytical capabilities so far?

I do not want to know why it smells great after a drizzle nor do I want to find the reason behind why a sunset or a sunrise look best from the beach. I just want live in and enjoy the moment!

Best laid plans.....

How many of us set out to fail? Well! Stupid question, but the fact is that not many of us set out to succeed either.

Most of us keep going ahead in life and believe in the song que sera sera..whatever will be..will be. Much like the piece of paper whose ascent and direction are determined by the gust of wind that blows it from one place to another.

There are yet some of us who don't give their best till their backs are against the wall. Yes, five-setters are fun and nothing pumps an individual like coming in from the back and winning when the chips are down. But I bet that King Becker would himself concede that you can't possibly come back from two sets down in every match and win the slam.

Thats the big picture. Its about winning the slam with as little taken away from you as possible. Its about winning not just one slam but as many as one can. So don't always wait for your back to be against the wall before you fight back, see that you dont get pushed against the wall.

Yes, there's very little that one can control in terms of the environment and how it changes around you. But, one CAN control how one responds to that change and that is the key.

Halcyon Days........

Float back to the days
Where the days were long and the nights were longer
Times when we were young and the nights were younger
To the days where our thoughts were free
Times when the breeze was cool and so were we!
Bottles emptied through the night
A minor argument, a big fight
Things that went wrong and those that went right
Endless movies and highway rides
Guys who spent hours in front of the mirror admiring their looks
Guys who slept through the night while others sat with their books
Guys who topped, yet others who flopped
It all comes back when you walk down that lane
A drink in your hand without bothering who pays
Beautiful memories........those Halcyon Days

Chasing your dreams

How many of us actually end doing what we always wanted to do? Infact how many of us have really wanted to do the same thing all our lives?? Have'nt we all gone through our fair share of finding our calling?
Questions for which perhaps, the answers are more questions. Fact is that for a majority of us life pretty much takes it's own course. For those who end up living their dream, they did'nt wake up one fine morning and find that life's course had taken them straight into their dream alley.
Chasing your dreams is all about choosing your own destination, plotting your own course and invariably about swimming against the tide.
Amitabh Bachchan was not hounded by film makers the day he decided to pursue acting as a profession. But the change he made was he decided that he was willing to give up all else to become an actor and he persevered.
Dreams are'nt going to come true if the urge to change the way the things are around is'nt preceeded by a strong urge to change yourself! The first change has to be in YOU!
A few lines ripped from MJ and modified by yours truly.
"Wanna make a change,
for once in my life,
Wanna make a difference
wanna make it right........
I'm starting with the man in the mirror,
I'm asking him to change his ways..."

Halcyon: The Wonder Years

Halcyon was, rather is the name of the cul-fest of SIT, the institute from where I graduated as an engineer. Here's something I wrote a long-long time ago about how it all started.

"You may say I'm a dreamer, but I'm not the only one..." So went John Lennon and since then a whole new generation has dared to dream and do. SIT (Siddaganga Institute of Technology) till 1994 had its fair share of dreamers and yes people did laugh and scorn at those who even talked about having a Cul-fest at SIT. "Impossible", "Are you f@#$*& crazy", "Who the hell would want to come to Tumkur of all places?" Believe me these are the mildest. And then God said
"Let there be light."

Genesis:

It just takes a spark to set a house on fire. Two guys chatting over endless cups of tea at one of the Tapris set the ball rolling. It was exam time, odd semester. "I'll speak with the second year
guys about it" one said, "I'll pull in some guys from the third and fourth year" said the other. Ordinarily, this would have been the end of very successful small talk. But, the doers had arrived!

A couple of days later a small gathering on the B.V Block roof-top formed a quorum though unofficial, for the first Halcyon meeting.
Ideas shuttled back and forth and probably, the skeleton of the festival was drawn.

Another exam tension relieving session? No way! The seeds were sown.

Exam time and a couple of guys were still thinking about the festival, the creative juices were flowing along with the adrenaline. The inner circle was probably formed around this time.
These were the brains and brawns behind the success that Halcyon is today.

What's In the Name?

Ever heard of people coming back early from their semester break? Well? these guys did.

Now, the biggest test lay ahead. They had to talk to the management about their grand plans. They were prepared for any eventuality right from the number of events to be held to the budget and of course, the all important name. The name has a story of its own. Not
going into that, it would suffice to say that out of a range of names HALCYON was chosen with a broad consensus and not without opposition. There was however, a very serious and sincere suggestion to call it "SIT Inter-college Cultural Festival".

A long exchange of ideas and the principal and the chairman of the cultural committee were ready to take the proposal to Swami ji. It did not take him long to decide.

Good news! Yes. Work done? No way!!!


The First Time Is Always the Hardest

They had got the go ahead. But, with less than one and a half months to go there was lot of work to do. What's the big deal? Well, this was the first time an event of this magnitude a three-day state level inter-collegiate cultural festival with 22 events was about to be held.

The Avalanche Effect

The campus became a beehive with debates; jam sessions and antaaksharis going into the wee hours of the morning. The intramural competitions evoked an unexpected and unprecedented response.

The spring in the step was obvious and infectious. Students did not complain about the 7:30 AM classes and evenings were eagerly awaited.

Witty banners around the campus and the hostels were one major feature. People actually waited for fresh punch lines every two days. A mini advertising coup, that too in an engineering college.

The campus was decked up. One couldn't have asked for a better build-up to the actual festival.

Judgement Day (s)

Day 1
0800hrs IST
Scene at the canteen. "I'll be happy if we get 5 colleges to come" cut to the reception at Birla Auditorium "Just two colleges???"

0900hrs IST
The floodgates open. An unexpected 16 colleges have sent their teams. Take off.

Day 2 & Day 3
What happened next is a blur all I know is that the eagle had landed. The rest as they say is history. Halcyon was on its way to becoming the best fest in Karnataka.


Down the Memory Lane

For a good many SITians Halcyon is a door down the memory lane which they'll knock upon often. The names of the guys who started the fire will perhaps fade away and never be mentioned. There will be tall claims by some as to who started Halcyon. But the two guys who
sat over that cup of tea will always know!!

As far as I'm concerned my part as a story teller is over and I know one thing for sure "Ondu kings and by-two tea" do go a long way in creating history!