Too Much Love...

Have you ever been in love with something or someone so much that it hurt? In love so much that you started detesting it??

Think that applies to not only people but things you do as well. This other day wifey dear made fabulous Aloo ke Paranthey and before I realised I'd downed 6 parathas laden with ghee (just a clarification...my pleasantly plump appearance is NOT a result of such binges!!) the rest of the day was too put very mildly, uncomfortable. Don't know why but I seem to have this tendency to take to go overboard with my likes, whether it be favourite dishes or even work at times.

Coming back to the point; I happen to know someone who has spent the better part of life in love with this other person (who too I happen to know rather well!). Much like Liz Taylor and Richard Burton they too have been IN and OUT of love often. Strangely though all that pent up love seems to manifest itself in different forms in both these people. Whilst it's ignorance and silence for one, it is a very open and bitter topic for the other.

My take..why not cherish the times you've had together, accept reality and move ahead. It's the continuance, rather obstinately, of being in love that causes the hurt and anger. Easier said than done? Well, all I can say is that it does deserve an honest attempt. It's not gonna be easy but I am sure there always are positives that one can carry from soured relationships.

And in the end as usual here's the song (Courtesy:Queen) that sums it all up

Too much love will kill you

If you can't make up your mind

Torn between the lover

And the love you leave behind

You're headed for disaster

'cos you never read the signs

Too much love will kill you

Every time.....

..I used to bring you sunshine

Now all I ever do is bring you down

How would it be if you were standing in my shoes

Can't you see that it's impossible to choose

No there's no making sense of it

Every way I go I'm bound to lose

Too much love will kill you

Just as sure as none at all

It'll drain the power that's in you

Make you plead and scream and crawl

And the pain will make you crazy

You're the victim of your crime

Too much love will kill you

Every time

Simple Pleasures

Whoever said that romance goes out of the marriage after a few years needs to rethink. Flower and dance routine apart there's nothing that's complicated about romancing.

Looking back at the times we've (myself and wifey dearest) had as a couple, the most memorablemoments are those that we spent doing things like cooking a meal,collecting sea-shells at the beach, going half-way across town just to eat golgappas from a particular stall...the list is long but not forgotten.

I probably have said this before in FRIENDS and it holds true in this context as well;the key is to create one more such moment to reminisce.

I recently switched jobs and had to move from one city to another. Unfortunately that has meant spending time away from each other. The proximity has helped as we atleast get to meet on weekends. While I've taken up an apartment it's not furnished and that helped us create another memory.

What I'm about to narrate might seem to many as mundane but for us this is an addition to our list of memorable moments.

To cut a long story short, it was a weekend at a new place with not many friends..obviously the plan was to have a couple of drinks. So we went out bought some vodka and juice and got back home only to realise that we had no glasses!

Determined to stick to our plan, we eventually found a solution. Strangely enough while we were shopping we'd picked up a kitchen knife! We cut out the bases off the Kinley bottles and made glasses out of them. Term us what you may but it was fun.

As usual I'll close this one with a couple of lines from a relatively unknown song of Minnie Riperton (more popular for her song Loving You).

"The simple things
The lovely simple things
The sunset and the dawn
The simple things
The lovely simple things
I could go on and on and on

For the simple pleasures
Are worth more than treasures
That your paper money ever bring

This song is old, this song is new
This song is me, this song is you
I like to play out in the rain
I like the sun to shine again
And again and again

Each day so many things to see
And I'm so glad I am me
And you, my friends, are pretty too
And I'm so glad that you are you"

Follow Your Dreams

How is it that when you love doing something you always find energy to keep going? Well, that should be one reason why you NEED to LOVE what you do.

The past couple of months have been somewhat of a learning experience for me. I have stood by the side and watched in awe as my wife juggled her career, a nascent passion for theatre and visiting in-laws. Yes, there were times when she was at her wits end on whether to take a day off from work to spend time with mom and dad in-law or to spend an extra couple of hours at the workshop. All in all, tired or not, the entire workshop experience and then actually going ahead and doing the stage shows has put a glow equivalent to a 1000 watt bulb on m'ladies face. That and that alone would tell anyone how much this whole two months of jugglery has been worth it from her perspective.

Which brings me back to my point of one having to really love what you do.

Another example that springs to mind is of this friend of mine from my engineering days who transformed himself from a guy with no sense of rhythm or aptitude for music to an absolutely amazing guitarist who composes his own stuff today. It was nothing but sheer passion for this one thing that he wanted to do. He once shared with me that when he saw some of us guys jammin for our college cul-fest he promised to himself that the next year he'd be up there playing music and by jove he did!! Today, he's light years ahead of all of us guys whom he saw on stage.

I guess all of us at some point in our lives, come to a point where we take that leap of faith and just jump into something we always wanted to do but never really got around to.

So here's an ode to to all those who did....and for the rest of us who're still waiting, here's lyrics from a song performed by Poco that just stuck.....

There are images around us, in everything we see
Some are real and some are fantasy
To the one who sees his vision, to the child who lives his dreams
You're the one to decide what you're gonna be

So give it your best, and don't worry about what some may say
Follow your dreams, it's really all that you can do
Give it your best, and remember that life is what you choose
Follow your dreams, and do what you love to do

There are places you'll remember, and times you may recall
Faces that refresh your memory
May the thoughts that you will picture, help you come to see
That you're the one to decide what you're gonna be

So give it your best, and don't worry about what some may say
Follow your dreams, it's really all that you can do
And give it your best, and remember that life is what you choose
Go on, follow your dreams and do it,
Follow your dreams, and do what you love to do...

Cherish

I have often noticed that most us tend to change topics when the discussion gravitates to someone that is no more or at times about someone who's no more a part of our lives.
My strong belief is that this approach seldom eases or gives vent to the hurt or pain that we are so carefully attempting to guard. Also perhaps an indication that we have not reconciled to the facts.
If life is a story strung with memories and pictures of the past; many beautiful ones and a few of them painful; then does it not make more sense to look back at the times you had?
What is it that makes us walk away from this walk down the memory lane? Is it like a smoker getting back to smoking? Are we really afraid of the craving for more that this memory jog will create?
Such fears I guess, are unfounded.
Every time you reminisce it's actually an emotional roller-coaster... you are bound to cover the happy and the sad both!
Like I mentioned earlier in Separate Lives there are many people whom we're close to, but we still do not make a serious attempt at staying in touch with them or know that you're never gone see them again. If we can dig out ole tales of our times with them, then why not people in the category we are discussing.
My reasons for saying so??? Well, these are perhaps another set of people whom you'll not see or meet...These are people with whom you had better if not equally great times with.
I remember reading somewhere that if a lifetime is nothing but moments you remember...and if you could somehow compress all these moments together...Then, a lifetime is perhaps just a couple of days!!!!
So why not cherish these special moments spent with those special people in our lives?
Couldn't help summing this up with a few lines from a song by Kool and the Gang..
"Cherish the love we have... Let's cherish the life we live... Let's cherish every moment we have been given..........."

Separate Lives

How many people do we get to know during the course of our life time? When we meet them, while we meet them do we pause and think about the kind of impact they make, are making or will make on our lives??

Relationships too like many things else, build up into a crescendo and then fade. We meet people, make friends, spend lots of time together, become almost inseparable and yet when we part ways, seem to go on for years without even stopping to think what happened to the person with whom we spent so much time with.

The kids in the neighbourhood, classmates at school, at graduation, at post-grad, colleagues at work; where do we not have an example?

We move through different countries, cities, organisations and keep adding to this list of people whose status would be "Not known".

Our time and thoughts are tied with our work and our immediate family.


And then one fine day there's a chance encounter, a mail, a phone call and it snowballs, again building up into a crescendo only to fade yet again. Another memory created, a record updated.

We journey through life...meeting some people at some point again...never to meet a few others and surely meeting new ones as we continue living.... our separate lives!

Twilight: The Nothingness of Transition

How often have we all cribbed about the fact that we are overworked? I guess despite the fact that we get to hear it ever so often; it’s not a REAL crib. We actually love the fact that we have enough and more to do. In someway being given more work to do seems to be something to be proud of for most (for all you know you might be the docile donkey that doesn't throw tantrums!).

Coming back, the realisation that you NEED to work only comes during spells where you have none!! They say that work expands to fill available time; the converse in my opinion does not hold and time seems to be stubbornly in-elastic refusing to fleet when there is nothing to do.

I have witnessed (and lately experienced) in professional/working life, what I’d term the nothingness of transition. This is the time span after a change (a role change/a change of job) where you are not expected to be contributing in a real manner in your new role.

Takes me back to the days as a kid and reminds me of the times when you had to move into a new neighbourhood. The feeling of being the new kid on the block, the having to stand and watch the other kids play…

Well, that experience also reminds me of how life prepares you…the fact that you need to deal with the change. You need to make the first move and go and talk with the kid who acknowledges your presence, perhaps smiles and waves at you. The other option ofcourse is to wait till some kid makes that first move.

Be that as it may, it’s twilight that signals the change, it’s neither day nor night.. ….and in this nothingness lies its tranquil beauty… the hues of dawn or even dusk with its soft sun…. one a symbol of a new beginning, the other a meaningful end.

Confessions of A Couch Potato

My wife always used (she still does) to crib about the way I would just plonk myself on the bean bag and not move for anything be it food, phone-call or to get the door. My logic was that I needed to catch up on all the news and since I had no time to read through all sections of the newspaper, the boob-tube was my window to the world.

I admit! After living in denial for the larger part of my life, it’s time to come clean. Not that I wanted to or the fact that I can’t (physically) hide it anymore. I have realised this over the past one week that I spent at home.

In all fairnesss I was unwell. However, the liking I took to the bean bag continued well into the extended weekend (Courtesy: Pongal) and made me realise that I have all the symptoms of one!

Not only did I watch all the re-runs that they telecast through the week, I also caught up on the ones I missed on the all day marathons over the weekend. And here’s how it dawned; by the end of the 5th day at home I noticed that I had the container full of snacks within an arms length, a jug of water, all the remotes (TV/Set Top Box/VCD Player and the Satellite Radio remotes) right next to me, ofcourse both the landline and the handphones were within reach and handy, I did not bolt the front-door just so I could holler “It’s open” should anybody have knocked. The only redeeming factor was though I had the strongest urge I’ve ever had to order a pizza and coke, I abstained. OK! The truth is I would have succumbed to that too had wifey dearest not reminded me of my recent bout of illness!!

Well, the couch potato test at http://www.queendom.com/tests/minitests/fx/couch_potato.html put to rest all doubts that I had.

On a serious note, I read a report that says that the anticipated economic gains in terms of increased tourism and purchases by hosting the Commonwealth Games at Melbourne this time will be offset by the possibility that a sizeable portion of the population would stay back home and watch the games and would thus stop spending or spend less while they put their feet up and watched the Games — “the couch potato effect."

Whoever said that sitting back home watching TV didn't hurt anybody better think again!!

On Resolutions

Yeah..yeah we've made resolutions more often than we care to...and surely much more often than we've lived upto.

Every December, the promise that the new year holds is overwhelming. I guess the optimist in us always believes that the best is yet to come. What if life already is as good as it gets???

Then again, there's this part of us which believes that we should change somethings about ourselves. Always felt that resolutions are about undoing conscious choices made by us. Like stop drinking, quit smoking, reduce weight, find another job....(Guess all these would figure on the "Top Ten Most Popular New Year Resolutions".

Personally, I have come to the conclusion that resolving to do something is putting undue pressure on self. Furthermore, announcing the list in public is plain suicide.

Read somewhere that "realisation" is half atonement. So realising about things that are not right with your life is half the job done. Problem is...it's the easy half.

The more difficult half is actually changing and setting things right. But hey! Rome was'nt built in a day, was it??

As someone once said "I cannot say whether things will get better if we change; what I can say is they must change if they are to get better."

So here's to change!!!

Playin Hookie

How often have you called in sick at work? Well, I don't know why but I think that maybe "I am not feeling too well" or "Am down with a fever" somehow do not seem weighty enough in front of your office folks to merit a day off. The "Take Care!" from your colleagues sounds more cautionary than concerned.

The problem is you might have used up the "Not Keeping Well" routine some time i.e. the day you just wanted to stay back home and watch the match... or the morning after the night when you went partying and you just could'nt kick the hangover in time to make it to work...

Like they say the problem with lying is that you MUST HAVE a great memory in order to remember what you told and to whom the last time round. The highest level of this "art form" is when you start knocking your folks off! Once again a problem coz you need to keep track of the imaginary branches of your (or your wife's) family tree that you keep chopping off!

So the next time you're faced with a dilemma of what to tell the folks at work when you really aren't well? Go for the truth ! But ofcourse, this time the detailing comes automatically...the sore throat, the coughing bout....it really works. Amazing thing is that you end up on a guilt trip the day you are actually telling the truth!!!

So is Playing Hookie really worth it?? Well, if you could do it when you were in school, why not now? If being mature and responsible means loosing spontaneity, then growing up is no fun.

All of us have risen beyond the call of duty many a time, working late hours, working holidays and postponing vacations. So, go ahead, you've earned your stripes.

Being responsible does not mean not playing hookie...it only means knowing when to.