Sunday, September 26, 2010

A Tale of Two Cities (R.I.P. Dickens)

"It was the best of times, it was the worst of times, it was the age of wisdom, it was the age of foolishness, it was the epoch of belief, it was the epoch of incredulity, it was the season of Light, it was the season of Darkness, it was the spring of hope, it was the winter of despair, we had ­everything before us, we had nothing before us, we were all going direct to Heaven, we were all going direct the other way—in short, the period was so far like the present peri­od, that some of its noisiest authorities insisted on its being received, for good or for evil, in the superlative degree of comparison only."
Courtesy: Charles Dickens (sometimes the best way to say it is by quoting the original)
This is a new tale of two cities. One with phoenix like capabilities and the other with a mythical lineage. This is the story of the path they traversed over the past 10 years or so. This is the tale of opportunities lost. This is the tale of Deadly and Greedgaon.
Liberalisation was doing its job and money was coming in thick and fast. All the key economic indicators were looking up. Multinationals were setting up shop big time. These were the times when "outsourcing" was the buzz word and not a bad word.
The real estate hawks had got it right. The waiting game had paid off. All the farmland that they had picked up was about yield rich dividends not of the green kind but of the concrete kind.
In Greedgaon tall, shiny glass buildings came up and so did swanky high rise apartments, the cycle of prosperity had been kicked.
The BPOs took the bait because they had worked on keeping the cost base low and the MNCs saw virtue in picking up the false ceilinged, centrally air-conditioned replicas of where they came from. So out went the socially and politically correct Rajendra Places, Nehru Places and the business districts moved out of Deadly and into Greedgaon.
The BPOs and MNCs both needed people and people is not a thing this nation was short of then or is now for that matter.
Well, all these people needed a place to stay and since Deadly and Greedgaon were not "well connected" in those days Greedgaon became the better option.
The offices and the apartments had come up with the people moving in the malls sprang up too.
There was of course one teeny-weeny problem there was still no connectivity between Deadly and Greedgaon save the Multiple Gaddhas Road or as it is known the MG Road. For people who had moved to Greedgaon roads continued to be something like science fiction i.e. possible, but only in the future, one that is still awaited.
The powers that be were enamoured by infrastructure and aided by all the trips the netas were making to neighbouring China decided it was time for the Deadly Greedgaon Expressway. Now have they not told you that "Good things come to those who wait; All good things take some time" and time they did take.
In the meanwhile, roads or no roads, connectivity or no connectivity the hundreds of thousands who had joined workforce at the plush offices in Greedgaon had to get to work and get around. The money was good and loans came easy it was time to give another sector a boom. The upwardly mobile executives bought their shiny sedans and monstrous SUVs and started zipping around.
Now we had large offices, lots of apartments, huge malls, thousands of cars but still no roads.
Time passed, more offices, more apartments, more malls and more cars came up and the good thing that all were waiting the Deadly Greedgaon Expressway finally opened.
The expressway was world class with its wide metalled roads and neat signages, there was of course one minor problem. The expressway went over practically every important road (the reference is to physical places where they are supposed to exist!) of Greedgaon.
Now, while Greedgaon was busy becoming the Million-hole City, Deadly was attempting another rise from the ashes. The Metro started, roads widened, more flyovers came up and more people could get to the Greedgaon Tollgate faster obviously in their faster, high powered fuel guzzlers. And then the people waited, no not for good things but just to reach wherever they wanted to in Greedgaon.
The bottomline, over the years the BPOs/MNCs benefitted from the low costs; the real estate guys made big money selling, leasing, developing; the local farmers turned cubby hole millionaires; the car companies made great fortune selling cars; the oil companies too kept afloat since people with their BS IV compliant cars were now consuming more fuel for travelling the same distance.
Deadly on the other hand was scheduled to host "The Games" and so the forward thinking government declared that it intended to transform Deadly into a world-class city.
Thus began Deadly's travails. The Madame at the helm of the affairs like all things Deadly deemed that improving public transport was key.
On the agenda amongst several noble things was converting the fleet of buses into green machines albeit prodded, nudged and eventually kicked by the judiciary before some part of it could be implemented. First the orders and then the deliveries were delayed oh yeah we must remember "Good things come to those who wait".
Next on the list was a master-stroke called BRT that perhaps single handedly causes more misery to more people at any given instant than anything known.
Honourable mention for the almost Tughlaqesque beautification drive that involved uprooting the existing lampposts and replacing them with new ones or uprooting existing signposts and replacing them with new ones or digging up the existing footpaths and relaying them and oh did i forget to mention the recolouring of all traffic poles.
The citizens through this all have gone through a melee of juxtaposed emotions patient yet irate, brazen yet accommodating, troubled but at times impressed and disgusted yet hopeful.
To conclude a few lines from the epic.
"I see a beautiful city and a brilliant people rising from this abyss, and, in their struggles to be truly free, in their triumphs and defeats, through long years to come, I see the evil of this time and of the previous time of which this is the natural birth, gradually making expiation for it­self and wearing out."

Sunday, July 11, 2010

Thank You

A chance encounter
A wave of hand
A familiar face
A breaking smile

Triggers a train of thought
A walk down memory lane
Vivid images of cherished times
Of growing up and carefree lives

Classroom pranks and innocent lies
Stolen lunches and greedy bites
Muddy shoes and loose hung ties
Of friendships stronger than family ties


The teachers who fanned our imagination
With a word of praise and the occassional stick
An encouraging smile for every puzzled look
Of discovering a world beyond text books

It all comes back each time I pass you by
I find myself await another smile
This perhaps is a good time to say this
For its been brewing for a while


Everything I've ever wanted or wanted to be
For making me who I am or ever will be
Thank you dear Alma Mater
For being a part of me

Sunday, June 27, 2010

Kuch Kahaniyan - Episode 5 - The Final Take

OK here is a different take on growing up. One that does not involve alcohol. Well, after all its not just alcohol that makes people do silly things.... right?
Yes, this one is about Love and to some measure about Sex and Dhoka as well ;-)
Also time for the disclaimers, do read through because they are different.
Disclaimer:
All characters and incidents in this narrative are rooted in truth.

Not every character is necessarily one individual, the characters are situational.
Chronology has been compromised in favour of spicy reading.
Another Important Disclaimer (This one is for marital harmony):
I wasn't necessarily involved/present when some of these happened.
#6
The late 80's and the early 90's had lots of stuff happening for, around and to us...Trysts with alcohol, Driving Licenses, Rock Music and Girls!!!!


We were in our mid-teens and the other gender had started making its presence or need felt amongst us. Believe me, for those of us who spent long years in Boys Only schools they had a lot more importance a helluva lot more early!!

My final take is actually about 2 different takes on what the protagonists thought was "First Love" and the instances that made their way to for lack of a better term "friendship-lore". So brace yourself for a longish read.

#6.1 Love

Mr. Fool for Love (FfL) was an average student. He was an average looking guy too. But...the young man had a phenomenal voice. Not the singing kinds though; it was one of those deep throaty voices that were tailor-made for voice overs.

Staying with our theme....Our man had the hots for this rather petite looking girl (for the sake of this story we will refer to her as Ms.G) who stayed 2 blocks away in the same residential complex as FfL. This tale is about the lengths that FfL would go to just to get a glimpse of Ms.G.

FfL had decided that he was in love. He had also decided that it was time to announce it to the rest of the world (i.e. classmates at the Deprived Boys School or DBS).

One fateful day he did just that. The close friends were promised what was called an "Intro" during those days with Ms.G and who knows a possible intro with ahem..Ms. G's school mates. The final bell was eagerly awaited and a bunch of us were outside in a jiffy. Meeting Ms.G had its share of logistical challenges as well. It meant we had to go all the way to FfLs house and then home. Now cycling the additional distance just to meet Ms.G was not exactly an appealing thought for the rest. FfL quickly sensed this and a deal was worked out. We were to leave our bi-cycles in school, FfL would sponsor return auto-fare (the equivalent of which in current day terms would be someone sponsoring a stretch limousine with booze and blonde's thrown in)

We piled into the auto and reached the rendezvous Ms.G's bus stop and waited. FfL had ensured we were well in time and Thums Up was promptly thrown in to prevent anyone of us from complaining about waiting. A rickety DTC (Delhi Transport Corporation for the unaware) school bus pulled up and a flurry of students Ms.G amongst them got off. FfL marshaled all of us and we were hot in pursuit when we finally got in-step with Ms.G.

"Hello G, how are you?" said a visibly excited FfL. "These are my friends from DBS."

"Hello guys" was Ms.G's reply and even before one of us could put his hand out for a shake, FfL nodded in the other direction hinting/pleading for us to vamoose. While FfL walked 10 more steps with Ms.G till her doorstep.

"What? No Intro?? What about meeting Girls???" said one us grudgingly promptly being hushed by the others and making the disappointed and oddly silent ride back in the auto.

That examination year, FfL took a major chance as a proclamation of his love and memorised only 1 Sanskrit essay that had Ms.G's name in it. He got Lucky!

Last heard, FfL got another opportunity to walk with Ms.G. He did not invite his friends this time.

#6.2 Sex aur Dhoka

It was the first winter in college (grad-school). Mr.High on Hormones (HoH) had now been dating Ms.Aphrodite (Ms.A) for over a year now.

The passing out of school and entry into college had brought along with it a new found freedom. Freedom from wearing uniforms, having to attend lectures or classes continuously and freedom to spend more time with a certain "special friend".

HoH and A would invariably bunk a lecture or two and make sure they got "Quality" time together. A day spent scouring the streets of Delhi on foot, sitting and talking endlessly in a favourite joint or sometimes cosying up at one or the others homes.

It was one such occasion HoH and A made their way back from their respective colleges to A's place. A's mother was out of station and her dad was driving to the next city for a meeting and was expected back only late that evening. This meant a lot more "Quality Time" for A and HoH.

They got back ordered some take-out and settled down to watch a movie (that was, at least, the stated intent). Some way into the movie the door-bell rang. A and HoH froze, they'd already received the take away!! A tip toed to the door and peered through drawn up curtains.

She came back running and uttered "Its Dad!!! Hurry Up!!! Hide!!!"

Those are not exactly the words one is waiting to hear while cosying up.

"Whoa!!! Where???" HoH sprang up. "I don't know... anywhere" said A, almost bursting into this rather rare tearful anger. HoH promptly slid under the bed.

From underneath HoH could hear A's Dad narrate how he had got a flat tyre someway out and had rescheduled his meeting for later. Having done that he thought of returning home and changing into a fresh suit!!!

Well it was a rather interesting view from the "spot" that HoH found himself in.

I am sure all of us know it was not really A's Dad that HoH had hoped to see undress!!!

To officially bring to close this series that occupied my mind-space for over a year some lines from a song which sums it up for me

Love, love is strange
Lots of people take it for a game
Once you get it you never wanna quit
After you've had it you're in a awful fix ....

Sunday, May 30, 2010

Kuch Kahaniyan - Episode 4

So here's one resolution that did not quite go the way it was planned. Well, the reference is to a resolution by yours truly to get more consistent with writing.

This one has been brewing for a while though and it took a minor get together of the cast of characters for me to pull this one out of the cupboard.

Disclaimer:
All characters and incidents in this narrative are rooted in truth. Resemblance and reference to people and places is intentional and not in the least coincidental.
Another Disclaimer:
I wasn't necessarily involved/present when some of these happened hence some amount of artistic liberty requested.

#5
They say going through the grind of an engineering course does, if not anything else, hone inquisitive thinking. You question the way things work, move yada yada yada. Mind you the inquisitive thinking takes an experiential form when slightly inebriated.OK, that is just a technical way of saying you get stubborn and stupid when you drink your self silly.

This was the final year of engineering for some of us. The last few months of any course often witness an increased level of bonding (read alcohol consumption) between friends.

Our institution was located in Tumkur a fair way away from the city of Bangalore, a town devoid of any night life. This particular incident is about one of our nights out in the city.

About 8 of us joined up for dinner and a session of beers. Post the sizzlers and multiple rounds of beers it was time to say our goodbyes and go crash at the pre-assigned pads of the friends who were from the city.Being from the city meant all of the following possession of a bike or a "Kiney", knowledge of liquor vends that would oblige and a list of must do drives.

As we stood around in the parking lot over the mandatory parting smoke

"Awesome weather man, would be great to get some wind on your face..." said the Adventurous Guy (AG)

"Dunno about the wind but I wouldn't mind another beer" said Silly Guy (SG)

I did mention that there is a cast of characters, so you will have to bear with all the names (which obviously have been carefully coined)

The Teetotaler Guy (TG) said "You guys have had enough..lets just get back home" to which the Profound Bong (PB) started to nod. He was not even half-way through the nod that the Tam Dude with his face beaming came up with
"Machan lets drive to Nandi Hills that way AG gets his wind on the face and SG his beers, God knows I can use a few too. If we start now we can catch the sunrise"

The normally Reclusive Prof did some mental stuff and said
"Yeah! You know guys, this probably will be the last time all of us can be out together... the semester end exams start 3 weeks from now"

I guess none of us questioned the finality of the what had just been said, not even the Overbearing Guy (OG).

We all set off in the direction of Nandi Hills a 65 km drive from where we were.

True to the promise the drive was laced with a lot of wind on the face for the riders and more beers for those on the pillion.

We had stopped for a bio break, we were now on the ghat section and barely a kilometer or two from the top.

Suddenly Silly Guy said "Hey! I want to ride the bike too.."

"Shut Up and sit behind AG" said Overbearing Guy

"Its just a kilometre to the top...Come On!!" said SG refusing to listen.

"Is it OK with you if I take your Kiney?" he turned to the Matter of Fact Guy (MfG).

Tam Dude butted in and said "Guys we are going to miss the Sunrise if you keep arguing"

Overbearing Guy continued " No Da..this bugger can't ride the ghats here are steep"

"Let him do it OG..." the Adventurous Guy said "I will sit behind him do not worry"

"Yeah..its just a Kiney...all he's gotta do is balance it" opined the Prof which was met by yet another nod of approval by the Profound Bong.

That said the group set of OG and PB zipping out first in anger and protest with Teetotaler Guy and Prof taking wing side to OG-PB duo.

Murphy's law "Anything that can go wrong, will go wrong"

Spotlight on the Silly Guy. Bolstered by all the support and mildly irritated with the OG, SG set off with AG riding pillion and having achieved the initial momentum started to negotiate the bend.

SG realised he was almost off the road, saw a small rock jutting out, tried to avoid it, swerved and ended up sprawled on the road. AG somehow sensed the impending disaster and managed to jump off.

Meanwhile, Tam Dude and MfG riding the other bike took the bend only to find SG sprawled on the road with AG laughing away.

MfG ran towards them saying "Shit! Shit!! Shit!!!"

Seeing him run one would have almost thought it was his love for his roomie of 4 years who lay sprawled. Well as I said almost.

MfG ran and picked up his Kinetic and his cry of angst was because the sides were scratched and the rear view mirror broken.

SG for the life of him could not understand why AG was laughing away to glory and the fact that the Kine got more attention than him from MfG had not escaped his notice.

Adrenalin rushing in his stream and blood oozing from his eyebrow SG declared "I am feeling very hot", suddenly unbuttoned his torn shirt, pulled down his jeans and plonked himself on the embankment.

Tam Dude came around and said "Machan you want me to light a cigarette? You'll feel better."


The other four had made it to the top in the meanwhile and were getting restive wondering what was taking the rest of us so much time. After a few minutes decided to turn back and check.

They reached the spot to find SG on the embankment with Tam Dude, MfG and AG standing around him.

"Damn you SG....I told you its not your cup of tea you stubborn prick!!!" shouted OG "You've spoilt it all..now lets head the hell back"

Adventurous Guy continued his devilish laughter, while MfG rued the broken rear view mirror.


Teetotaler Guy the only compassionate soul took a look at SG's bruise and said "Guys this ones deep..this guy needs some medical attention"

In this entire melee someone, I guess the Reclusive Prof said

"You know guys..in the beam of the headlights of our bikes..with SG lying half naked and you guys standing around smoking..it looks almost like a highway gang-rape"


Even SG managed a smile on that one.

The rest of the story...
• The guys did make it in time for the sunrise (must admit it was a sight to behold)
SG got 4 stitches across his eye-brow albeit four hours later that too without an anesthetic at some shady nursing home in the village nearby
SG never ever rode a bike again

Tuesday, January 26, 2010

Kuch Kahaniyan - Episode 3

Well the year is new but the tale is old. Here is the 3rd episode and as is the ritual:
Disclaimer: All characters and incidents in this narrative are rooted in truth. Resemblance and reference to people and places is intentional and not in the least coincidental.

Another Disclaimer: I wasn't necessarily involved/present when some of these happened hence some amount of artistic liberty requested.
#4

I forget the year but this incident happened during one of my visits back to Delhi from my engineering college.
It was a cold winter evening, of the sort that called for a rendezvous with friends and needless to say a couple of stiff-ones to beat the chill. Money was scarce and we were consciously frugal. The venue invariably used to be one of the parks or parking ares in the neighbourhood. The colony folks had kinda resigned to the fact that these kids were incorrigible. We would also get by scott-free because we were the kids who did enough and more for the Residents Welfare Association during the annual Diwali Melas.
Be that as it may, we were a few drinks down, and catching up with things that had happened during the interim (those were the days when internet did not mean anything, mobile telephones were gizmos only the rich could afford and you could not do a conference call from and STD/ISD booth). During the course of conversation one us mentioned about some trouble his parents were having with their next door neighbours over parking. The irritating neighbour would invariably park her Scooty where his parents used to park their car. After a minor argument in this regard the neighbour would do it at times just to spite his parents. That was it, the group decided it was time to teach the errant neighbour a lesson.
Here is what followed:
The group reached the scene of the reported offense i.e. the place where the Scooty was parked (our friends parking space).After a few moments of whether the best way to teach a lesson was to deflate tyres, drain the fuel, etc.
One wise guy said "Park in a manner that they themselves wont be able to remove it!"
Even before someone could ask what he meant there was another voice that said "Let's put the damn Scooty up on the terrace!!"
The group tried lifting it up and they could! And the next fifteen minutes were spent taking the Scooty to the common terrace of the block up 3 floors by the stairs!! (The block consisted of 2 flats to a floor on the Ground, First and Second floors with a common terrace on the third)

The next morning, imagine the surprise of the old lady on the second floor when she went up to dry clothes and found a Scooty parked over there!!!
The neighbours were only too happy to have found the Scooty which they thought had been stolen. For some strange reason though that Scooty never ever got parked in our friends car parking space.

Alcohol has the strange ability to aid seemingly rational decision making. Cinema of the day contributed with plots wherein the end justifies whatever means are used to reach it.
My take on it does have some measure of regret. But, to this day, I find it extremely funny when I think back what justice meant in this case and more importantly I always wonder where we found the strength to drag that Scooty.