Rang (रंग)

इस रंग बदलती दुनिया से

हमने भी थोड़ा सीख लिया

कुछ दुनिया से  हमने रंग लिया

और खुद को थोडा बदल लिया

कभी किस्मत ने हमको गिरा दिया

तो कभी वक़्त ने हमें सता दिया

सब सोचें हमको क्या मिला

हम सोचें कितना जान लिया

जाने पहचाने चेहरों को

भीतर से पढना सीख लिया

सच और झूठ के फेरों में

काले को कोरा कहना सीख लिया

कुछ खुद को थोडा बदल लिया

कुछ दुनिया को हमने रंग दिया

इस रंग बदलती दुनिया से

हमने भी थोड़ा सीख लिया

Yaadein

कुछ  यादें  एक  खलिश  सी  होती  हैं 

बरसों  दिल  में  सुलघ्ती  रहतीं   हैं

दबती  छुपती  तो  हैं  मगर  दहकती  रहतीं  हैं

बीतते  सालों  का  मरहम  पा  के  भी  दर्द  देती  हैं 

गुज़रा  वक़्त  सब  कुछ  भुला  नहीं  देता 

मन  में  बसा  चेहरा  धुन्दला  नहीं  देता

तेरी  मुस्कान  दिल   में  अभी  भी  गूंजती  हैं

ये पलकें  आज  भी  तुम  को  ढूँढती  हैं

तुम्हे  याद  कर  यह  आँखें  दो  बूँद  और  रो  देती  है

नहीं  लिखा  था  शायद  साथ   तुम्हारा 

होगी किसी  खुदा  की मर्ज़ी  पर  हमें  नहीं  है  गवारा 

गलती  तो  खुदा  से  भी  होती है

यादें  आ  आ  कर  बस  येही  सदा  देती  हैं

What (not) to expect when your are expecting

First up, a disclaimer. This note has nothing whatsoever to do with expecting with a pregnancy connotation.

Here's a poser. How many times have you ended up dejected, dismayed, disgruntled or any of the words that describe any of the emotions that lie in that spectrum?

Expectations are a part of the dowry that comes along with any relationship organisation-employee, husband-wife, parent-child, you name a relationship and there is a set of expectations.

Now, these expectations may be categorized as:

A) Natural: Parents nurture
B) Social: The love thy neighbour genre
C) Contractual: I pay, you deliver & vice-versa
D) Obligatory: Caring for elderly, grand-children or anything in the IOU space
E) Internal: Expectations based on self-image


While some of these expectations, more specifically categories A-C  set themselves, the one cardinal rule that applies to  categories D & E moreso category E is:

"An expectation not set, is an expectation not met"

Like any other rule there will be exceptions that will go on to prove the rule.


Coming back, here a few pointers based on wisdom on what not to expect and I'll try to address each of the categories that I mentioned above. These by the way are notes to self too.

Category A: Nature
A parent should not expect compliance to orders/commands in return for the nurturing:- Millions of years of human history bear testament to this and still do. Just take a look around if there is a parent-child act playing out the most likely speak of the parent is "don't go there" or "don't do this" or someother instruction beginning with a Don't.

Category B: Social
Do not expect courtesy:- This one is my pet peeve. The other day I was at a counter paying the quarterly fee at my daughters school. In walks a kid, a thirteener perhaps and get this... there's one counter with just me standing there and he puts his hand across my shoulder and tries to pay!! I just step aside allowed the kid to pay and just said one thing "Son, I think you are old enough to understand the concept of a queue." While that did elicit a quick apology, I did not sense any remorse.


Category C: Contractual
Do not expect professionalism:- Ha! I know this one resonates. Organisations are full of Johnnies who serve no fruitful purpose and are undeserving of their paycheck.Somehow, its become unreasonable for you to expect things delivered in order or in time from colleagues. Some  hide behind bosses, some behind friendship, neither want to move their asses!


Category D: Obligatory
Do not expect. As pessimistic or cynical as it may sound this is the category where it is important that when you did whatever you did for whomsoever you did it felt that you had indeed obliged.If not, too bad because that IOU post it that you have on your memory wall is headed straight for the recycle bin. When in doubt apply the rule!


Category E: Internal
No if, no but, only gut:- This one is all about you, it's about your opinion of yourself and it's how you feel you have done...in your gut. This is the trickiest of the categories and here's where the world will quote 

"Karmanye vadhikaraste ma phaleshu kadachna
Karmaphalehtur bhurma te sangostvakarmani"

for the uninitiated translated this verse from the Bhagwad Gita would mean:
"You have a right to perform your prescribed duty, but you are not entitled to the fruits of action। Never consider yourself the cause of the results of your activities, and never be attached to not doing your duty"

Taking a corporate example for this one again, one of Rewards and Recognition. All of us long for recognition of our efforts, applause makes everyone special. However, this is an expectation that is almost never set. We are all too nice to say it aloud.Is it wrong to say that I have busted or will be busting my back side towards this assignment/project, I deserve some recognition on this one?
Apparently, yes and I can feel the corporate 'same pinch' ;-)

Finally, to close a quote from Charles Dickens Great Expectations and I use it in the context of us being the designers of our set of expectations

“I am what you designed me to be.I am your blade. You cannot now complain if you also feel the hurt”

Moving On...

How many times have we bid farewell to people? Life puts us through these moments in various ways; be it graduating from school, changing houses, breaking up with your girl (or guy as the case maybe) and for most part of adult life changing jobs.

The feelings depending on whether you are the "bidder" or the "bidee" for lack of a better term vary and actually present a rainbow of emotions.

This piece is about one such emotion more so from the perspective of the bidders or the folks who are saying good byes to someone who has decided to leave them.

This is always the elephant in the room that no one looks at, wants to recognise the presence of even and that is the feeling of left behind. In some senses even bordering on a sense of betrayal.

The key question is something on the lines of others getting to find things for themselves which are better than your lot.

Yes, jealousy has a role to play but my belief is  that it is not the prime mover. Depending on who you are the drivers are different.

A school teacher feels left behind seeing class after class graduate and leave in search of a better future whilst their future is to watch another batch graduate.

A broken-hearted lover instead of reminiscing the good times is actually thinking of how their special someone can find love and happiness without them or more painfully.... with someone else.

A colleague on the other hand might be coming from a point of insufficiency or self-doubt.

Regardless, the idea is not dig deeper into human psyche or to find the reasons behind this behaviour but to acknowledge.

I for one have gone through all or some of those feelings at some point or the other, that being said I have also been on the other side of being the biddee and must say that the ride on the other side ain't that smooth either.

There are questions this side as well....
Will the folks at school/work remember me a few years on ?

Will the person I'm breaking up with find happiness  that they deserve? Now that I love someone else do I not like them?

My take...it is OK to be feel what you feel, very often we are too caught up with what we ought to be feeling. So if you are not happy someone got a job so be it. If you are not sad that you are breaking up so be it. If you are not whatever whatever so be it.

Moving on & getting left behind are perhaps two faces of the same coin.The key I would say is looking ahead. 

So here's to looking ahead.


And not to miss, a song called Peace of Mind made popular by Boston that probably captures one such feeling


Now if you're feelin' kinda low 'bout the dues you've been paying
Future's coming much too slow
And you wanna run but somehow you just keep on stayin'
Can't decide on which way to go
Yeah, yeah, yeah

I understand about indecision
But I don't care if I get behind
People livin' in competition
All I want is to have my peace of mind

Now you're climbin' to the top of the company ladder
Hope it doesn't take too long
Can't cha see there'll come a day when it won't matter
Come a day when you'll be gone

I understand about indecision
But I don't care if I get behind
People livin' in competition
All I want is to have my peace of mind.

Take a look ahead, take a look ahead, yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah... whoa!

Now everybody's got advice they just keep on givin'
Doesn't mean too much to me
Lot's of people out to make-believe they're livin'
Can't decide who they should be.

I understand about indecision
But I don't care if I get behind
People livin' in competition
All I want is to have my peace of mind.

Take a look ahead, take a look ahead. Look ahead.

Fursat

ये फुर्सत क्यों बेवजह बदनाम है
क्यों हर कोई यह कहता के उसको बहुत काम है

इस तेज़ दौड़ती, बटे लम्हों में कटती ज़िन्दगी का, चलना ही क्यों नाम है
कैसे रूकें, कब थामें, एक पल को भी न आराम है

कब घिरे कब छटे ये बादल, आये गए जो मौसम सारे न किसी को सुध न ध्यान है
पलक झपकते बोले और चले जो, अपना खून खुद से अनजान है

ये फुर्सत क्यों बेवजह बदनाम है
बस यही तो है जो अनमोल हो कर भी बेदाम है

अनकही -The Unsaid

मैंने अनकही सुनी है

सुनी है मैंने वो सारी बातें

जो किसी ने मुझसे न कही है



सहमी हुई धडकनों की आवाज़

छपक्ति पलकों के अंदाज़

तेज़ दौड़ती साँसों की हर बात

इन सब में छुपे वो सारे राज़

हाँ मैंने अनकही सुनी है



मुस्कुराहटों के तले दबी तड़पन

बदलते सुलघते रिश्तों में पड़ती अड़चन

बर्बादी की ओर बढ़ते कदम

अंजाम से अनजान बेपरवाह

उन सभी समझौतों को

हाँ मैंने अनकही सुनी है



ऊँची उड़ानों में डूबते अरमानों को

बुरे वक़्त में बदलते इंसानों को

दोस्ती में पड़ती दरारों का आगाज़

टूटे दिल में थमती हरकत

मासूम आँखों ने जो पूछे

तमाम उन सभी सवालों को

हाँ मैंने अनकही सुनी है



सुनी है मैंने वोह सारी बातें

जो किसी ने मुझसे न कही है

Time to Fly

Some pages in the book of life are best unread
No point looking back nor consider retreat

Got to find a raindrop that patters to your beat
There is a cloud that has your silver line

There're shells at a beach for you to find
Spaces for you to venture into

Challenges waiting for you to try
Dreams waiting to come alive

Go on! Turn the page
Life's waiting to be lived

It's not just spreading your wings
But courage that makes you fly

The Fast(ing) and The Furious

How much time do we spend discussing and debating current events at lunch with colleagues,with friends over a drink or otherwise?

During the past couple of months thousands of minutes of airtime and reams of newsprint would have been spent on discussions and debates on corruption. A topic that perhaps has been on top of this 65 year old democracy's memory. State of affairs is such that the only thing seemingly clean with nations politicians is their starched pristine khadi's. Even the white ambassador has made way for swanky 4x4's.

Yes, a healthy debate is the corner stone of a parliamentary democracy but the debates and discussions cannot be endless. The onus is on all parties to discussion to either convince, concede and conclude.

Must admit, I have been fascinated by the buzz that is being generated by the digitally enabled social networking populace. Twitterati apart, several of us have in these past few months put up status updates voicing support for or condemnation of the governments. The figures on updates or even jokes doing rounds on CWG, 2G etc would be of the order of millions.

The fascination however, has not stopped me from wondering whether mere digital airing of support for causes such as the ones above or the Tsunami in Japan or a Famine in Ethiopia have any meaning or more importantly of consequence.

Are we just falling prey to this wave of "Armchair Nationalism"?

While we get jingoistic about these social causes are we failing to do something in our span of control/sphere of influence?

How about not pushing a 100 buck note to the cop when he stops us for jumping the lights. How about paying our taxes as they are due? How about not sliding the extra 500 bucks for getting the paperwork faster? How about not fixing the electricity and water meters?

All of the above are forms of corruption are they not? And we willy-nilly are to blame for allowing it to breed around us and honestly within us.

Our efforts and angst seem to be directed at the "big fish" as though making examples would suddenly awaken the conscience of the small fry down the line.

While nothing can be taken away from the fact that thousands of crores have been swindled or flushed down the drain.

I believe it all got broken down to the extra 1000 bucks some officer somewhere allowed some contractor to make. The reason he did that it is that all of us believe a 1000 bucks here and there would not make a difference. Fact is it does make a difference.

So here's hoping that this awakening is one which starts within us and impacts things around us.

Else, all we'll do with these "Facebook Revolutions" is make some candle guy some where a rich guy.

And to close a few lines from a number made popular by Tracy Chapman

Don’t you know, they’re talkin’ bout a revolution
It sounds like a whisper
Don’t you know
They’re talkin’ about a revolution
It sounds like a whisper

While they’re standing in the welfare lines
Crying at the doorsteps of those armies of salvation
Wasting time in the unemployment lines
Sitting around waiting for a promotion

Don’t you know
They’re talkin’ bout a revolution
It sounds like a whisper
Poor people gonna rise up
And get their share
Poor people gonna rise up
And take what’s theirs

Don’t you know
You better run, run, run, run, run,
run, run, run, run, run, run, run

Finally the tables are starting to turn
Talkin’ bout a revolution.......