Kuch Kahaniyan - Episode 4

So here's one resolution that did not quite go the way it was planned. Well, the reference is to a resolution by yours truly to get more consistent with writing.

This one has been brewing for a while though and it took a minor get together of the cast of characters for me to pull this one out of the cupboard.

Disclaimer:
All characters and incidents in this narrative are rooted in truth. Resemblance and reference to people and places is intentional and not in the least coincidental.
Another Disclaimer:
I wasn't necessarily involved/present when some of these happened hence some amount of artistic liberty requested.

#5
They say going through the grind of an engineering course does, if not anything else, hone inquisitive thinking. You question the way things work, move yada yada yada. Mind you the inquisitive thinking takes an experiential form when slightly inebriated.OK, that is just a technical way of saying you get stubborn and stupid when you drink your self silly.

This was the final year of engineering for some of us. The last few months of any course often witness an increased level of bonding (read alcohol consumption) between friends.

Our institution was located in Tumkur a fair way away from the city of Bangalore, a town devoid of any night life. This particular incident is about one of our nights out in the city.

About 8 of us joined up for dinner and a session of beers. Post the sizzlers and multiple rounds of beers it was time to say our goodbyes and go crash at the pre-assigned pads of the friends who were from the city.Being from the city meant all of the following possession of a bike or a "Kiney", knowledge of liquor vends that would oblige and a list of must do drives.

As we stood around in the parking lot over the mandatory parting smoke

"Awesome weather man, would be great to get some wind on your face..." said the Adventurous Guy (AG)

"Dunno about the wind but I wouldn't mind another beer" said Silly Guy (SG)

I did mention that there is a cast of characters, so you will have to bear with all the names (which obviously have been carefully coined)

The Teetotaler Guy (TG) said "You guys have had enough..lets just get back home" to which the Profound Bong (PB) started to nod. He was not even half-way through the nod that the Tam Dude with his face beaming came up with
"Machan lets drive to Nandi Hills that way AG gets his wind on the face and SG his beers, God knows I can use a few too. If we start now we can catch the sunrise"

The normally Reclusive Prof did some mental stuff and said
"Yeah! You know guys, this probably will be the last time all of us can be out together... the semester end exams start 3 weeks from now"

I guess none of us questioned the finality of the what had just been said, not even the Overbearing Guy (OG).

We all set off in the direction of Nandi Hills a 65 km drive from where we were.

True to the promise the drive was laced with a lot of wind on the face for the riders and more beers for those on the pillion.

We had stopped for a bio break, we were now on the ghat section and barely a kilometer or two from the top.

Suddenly Silly Guy said "Hey! I want to ride the bike too.."

"Shut Up and sit behind AG" said Overbearing Guy

"Its just a kilometre to the top...Come On!!" said SG refusing to listen.

"Is it OK with you if I take your Kiney?" he turned to the Matter of Fact Guy (MfG).

Tam Dude butted in and said "Guys we are going to miss the Sunrise if you keep arguing"

Overbearing Guy continued " No Da..this bugger can't ride the ghats here are steep"

"Let him do it OG..." the Adventurous Guy said "I will sit behind him do not worry"

"Yeah..its just a Kiney...all he's gotta do is balance it" opined the Prof which was met by yet another nod of approval by the Profound Bong.

That said the group set of OG and PB zipping out first in anger and protest with Teetotaler Guy and Prof taking wing side to OG-PB duo.

Murphy's law "Anything that can go wrong, will go wrong"

Spotlight on the Silly Guy. Bolstered by all the support and mildly irritated with the OG, SG set off with AG riding pillion and having achieved the initial momentum started to negotiate the bend.

SG realised he was almost off the road, saw a small rock jutting out, tried to avoid it, swerved and ended up sprawled on the road. AG somehow sensed the impending disaster and managed to jump off.

Meanwhile, Tam Dude and MfG riding the other bike took the bend only to find SG sprawled on the road with AG laughing away.

MfG ran towards them saying "Shit! Shit!! Shit!!!"

Seeing him run one would have almost thought it was his love for his roomie of 4 years who lay sprawled. Well as I said almost.

MfG ran and picked up his Kinetic and his cry of angst was because the sides were scratched and the rear view mirror broken.

SG for the life of him could not understand why AG was laughing away to glory and the fact that the Kine got more attention than him from MfG had not escaped his notice.

Adrenalin rushing in his stream and blood oozing from his eyebrow SG declared "I am feeling very hot", suddenly unbuttoned his torn shirt, pulled down his jeans and plonked himself on the embankment.

Tam Dude came around and said "Machan you want me to light a cigarette? You'll feel better."


The other four had made it to the top in the meanwhile and were getting restive wondering what was taking the rest of us so much time. After a few minutes decided to turn back and check.

They reached the spot to find SG on the embankment with Tam Dude, MfG and AG standing around him.

"Damn you SG....I told you its not your cup of tea you stubborn prick!!!" shouted OG "You've spoilt it all..now lets head the hell back"

Adventurous Guy continued his devilish laughter, while MfG rued the broken rear view mirror.


Teetotaler Guy the only compassionate soul took a look at SG's bruise and said "Guys this ones deep..this guy needs some medical attention"

In this entire melee someone, I guess the Reclusive Prof said

"You know guys..in the beam of the headlights of our bikes..with SG lying half naked and you guys standing around smoking..it looks almost like a highway gang-rape"


Even SG managed a smile on that one.

The rest of the story...
• The guys did make it in time for the sunrise (must admit it was a sight to behold)
• SG got 4 stitches across his eye-brow albeit four hours later that too without an anesthetic at some shady nursing home in the village nearby
• SG never ever rode a bike again

Kuch Kahaniyan - Episode 3

Well the year is new but the tale is old. Here is the 3rd episode and as is the ritual:
Disclaimer: All characters and incidents in this narrative are rooted in truth. Resemblance and reference to people and places is intentional and not in the least coincidental.
Another Disclaimer: I wasn't necessarily involved/present when some of these happened hence some amount of artistic liberty requested.
#4
I forget the year but this incident happened during one of my visits back to Delhi from my engineering college.
It was a cold winter evening, of the sort that called for a rendezvous with friends and needless to say a couple of stiff-ones to beat the chill. Money was scarce and we were consciously frugal. The venue invariably used to be one of the parks or parking ares in the neighbourhood. The colony folks had kinda resigned to the fact that these kids were incorrigible. We would also get by scott-free because we were the kids who did enough and more for the Residents Welfare Association during the annual Diwali Melas.
Be that as it may, we were a few drinks down, and catching up with things that had happened during the interim (those were the days when internet did not mean anything, mobile telephones were gizmos only the rich could afford and you could not do a conference call from and STD/ISD booth). During the course of conversation one us mentioned about some trouble his parents were having with their next door neighbours over parking. The irritating neighbour would invariably park her Scooty where his parents used to park their car. After a minor argument in this regard the neighbour would do it at times just to spite his parents. That was it, the group decided it was time to teach the errant neighbour a lesson.
Here is what followed:
The group reached the scene of the reported offense i.e. the place where the Scooty was parked (our friends parking space).After a few moments of whether the best way to teach a lesson was to deflate tyres, drain the fuel, etc.
One wise guy said "Park in a manner that they themselves wont be able to remove it!"
Even before someone could ask what he meant there was another voice that said "Let's put the damn Scooty up on the terrace!!"
The group tried lifting it up and they could! And the next fifteen minutes were spent taking the Scooty to the common terrace of the block up 3 floors by the stairs!! (The block consisted of 2 flats to a floor on the Ground, First and Second floors with a common terrace on the third)

The next morning, imagine the surprise of the old lady on the second floor when she went up to dry clothes and found a Scooty parked over there!!!
The neighbours were only too happy to have found the Scooty which they thought had been stolen. For some strange reason though that Scooty never ever got parked in our friends car parking space.

Alcohol has the strange ability to aid seemingly rational decision making. Cinema of the day contributed with plots wherein the end justifies whatever means are used to reach it.
My take on it does have some measure of regret. But, to this day, I find it extremely funny when I think back what justice meant in this case and more importantly I always wonder where we found the strength to drag that Scooty.

Kuch kahaniyan - Episode 2

This one’s long overdue. A certain somebody who was the lead character in the incidents that I have narrated in the past can breathe easy. Also a good time to slip in my disclaimer…again.

Disclaimer: All characters and incidents in this narrative are rooted in truth. Resemblance and reference to people and places is intentional and not in the least coincidental.

Another Disclaimer: I wasn't necessarily involved/present when some of these happened hence some amount of artistic liberty requested.

#3
This is a fairly long one. It was the summer just after the Class X board examinations. Most of our gang, to the surprise of many, had cleared the dreaded exams with flying colours and had therefore earned our right to the Science stream in Senior School.

Our take “We had arrived….BIG TIME”. Thus began the seasons (I use the term because it did not last very long and the plural because it lasted long enough) of unbridled fun. Studies, attending classes regularly and paying attention when we did was something we stopped believing in.

We were boys turning into men; it was time to move on from school boy crushes to dating. This obviously needed to be done during the school time and ours being a boys only school it meant it could not be in school.

Here’s a tale of one such date disaster.

The tale has 2 main characters let us in order to save embarrassment call them Stud Boy (SB) and Complying Friend (CF).

Complying Friend (CF) was a popular guy in school. The reason, he stayed very close to the school and by virtue of the fact that both his parents were working, the house was “available” between 8 AM and 2:30 PM on working days. By the way CF insists there were many better reasons than the one just cited.

Stud Boy had a way with girls (Note: In an all boys school the threshold for qualifying as one is low). SB had managed to befriend not one but two girls. It was the era where computers were just becoming visible and qualified resources were short. These girls who had just finished senior school had been hired as part-time assistants in our school Computer Lab. They used to take the same bus back home as SB. Be that as it may, our man had not only befriended them but some how managed to convince both of them to go out for a movie-date.


Here was the plan. CF was to stay back home (pretending to be sick) while SB would (intentionally) miss the school bus and make his way to CF’s place. The girls would report sick/have important personal work (they were employees of the school remember) and reach CF’s place too. We would all then leave for a movie, ofcourse, after a while.

On that fateful morning CF duly had a severe tummy ache, the girls turned up bright and cheerful at 8:15 AM. Pleasantries exchanged CF and the girls waited for SB to turn up.

After waiting till 10 AM all of them became restless. CF hired an auto and the 3 of them rushed to the school hoping to make it for the 10:20 AM break time and see if SB had come to school.

The school principal during those days had this habit (a rather nice one) of mingling with the boys during break time. He’d usually walk down the main staircase and hang around the the school’s main gate talking with the boys.

CF asked the girls to wait in the auto and walked across the road towards the school main gate. The move had risk (professional for the girls and academic for CF) written all over it.

Minor Disaster: The school principal spots CF talking to the school darwan and walks upto him and asks “Why you are not in school and what are you doing here?” CF wriggles out of the situation by saying that he was actually unwell was there to turn in an important assignment and to enquire about the test scheduled the next day. Smart, one would comment except he also pointed towards the waiting auto-rickshaw to emphasise the fact that he really was unwell enough to hire one instead of walking the 5 minutes he would on a normal day. Whether the Principal saw the occupants of the auto is a question CF still ponders over, what he knows for sure is that the road wasn’t (isn’t) that wide and that the girls were curious.

Major Disaster: Here’s what happened to SB in the meanwhile since morning. Our man walks out of his house late pretty sure that he’s missed the bus. He’s wearing the school uniform (lest his folks become suspicious) he packs in a change and a pair of sneakers in the school bag instead of the regular course books. Steps out sticks his thumb out to hitch a ride (A: It was cool to hitch-hike during those days and B: It saved money for the date). A strangely familiar Blue coloured Maruti Van screeches to a halt. The door slides open and the Vice-Principal of the school greets SB and says “Hop in son, missed your school bus have you?” SB complies, his sheepish grin trying its best to hide utter shock and disbelief. SB reaches school and spends the day in school standing outside the class. God bless the teachers for that’s all that they would do to students who turned up without assignments or course books.


Rest of the story:
> The date never went beyond that moment outside the school gate.
> CF was disappointed that SB was such an essential component for the date to carry-on.
> The girls did not last beyond a few months
> SB,CF and the rest of the gang had a tough, very tough time clearing exams that year

The storyteller will return.

Like I said, there are more where these came from ;-)

The Bollywood Dancers Theory

We all are born different, look different, react differently to things and want to be seen differently yet, at some level, each one of us has this strong urge to blend in.

My recent interactions with people across a cross-section of society have reinforced this belief that people want to “Blend In yet Stand Out”. The Ryder to that one however, is that no one wants to Stick Out either.

Is there a difference? You bet.

A big part of growing up is the time one spends with friends or a peer group of some sort. It is here, in my opinion that the seeds of this Blend In yet Stand Out philosophy are sown.

You want to listen to music, you play it out loud! You make sure you stand out by being the one who either has the latest releases or the guy who knows all the lyrics or the one who has the coolest “system”. You do not want to be seen as the guy who is unaware, out of touch or as the one with a radically different taste in music (try playing Boyzone out loud in an all boys hostel).

Blending in does not mean not having respect for an individuals choices. You hang-out some guys drink, some do not, some smoke, some others do not. But you definitely do not want to be the guy who throws up after a few or if you do not drink the guy who’s gotta be dropped back early coz Mama’s gonna be wild ;-)

It’s not just a guy thing. Not that I am an authority but I’d wager that girls have their own set of what constitutes being a part of the gang and what is seen as not being with it. American diamonds perhaps are one such controversial area (cannot fathom whether they belong to the with it or not category for the life of me, was told once that they are good only if they are not obvious)

We grow up and move on into doing different things but this feeling stays with us. It manifests itself in things we do or things we buy. Take for example cars we all buy cars of our choice (make and model) however when was the last you heard of a friend who bought a yellow or orange or some other bright coloured one. Might like it but won’t buy it coz you do not want to stick out.

This therefore is the essence of what I have chosen to call the “Bollywood Dancers Theory” and it perhaps lies somewhere in the Esteem Needs zone of what Mr. Abraham Maslow talked about.

People inherently want to stand out in the context of their immediate environment

Like a typical Bollywood dance sequence while the protagonists want to express their love to each other by singing and dancing around trees or montage sets they need to be seen as gyrating to the same beat and doing the same steps as a host of other dancers (who appear and disappear as miraculously as the invisible orchestra does) they always wear a different colour. Blending in yet, standing out!

Kuch Kahaniyan - Episode 1

Are you one of those people who always have " A similar thing happened to me once...." story? Doesn't matter whether you're sitting over a leisurely weekend drink or taking that quick smoke break at work you most always have an anecdote that's related.

Confession time....I think yours truly is also one of those for the lack of a better word or phrase "notorious recounters".
No excuses but here's where I feel the first mover has the classical advantage of being considered origninal. So here's a new series of officially recorded anecdotes(for the wives..sorry you still got to hear these everytime) and my claim to the high ground forever for as the copyright owner.

Disclaimer: All characters and incidents in this narrative are rooted in truth. Resemblance and reference to people and places is intentional and not in the least coincidental.
Another Disclaimer: I wasn't necessarily involved/present when some of these happened hence some amount of artistic liberty requested.

#1
It was New Years eve and once we had been officially invited by someone who was a friend of someone whom we barely knew. But what the heck!!! This was one of those must attend "Farmhouse" do's which were very "in" as far as Delhi of the early 90's was concerned.

We all decided to rendezvous at around 9:30pm (only loosers hit a party early) at DefCol Nirula's before we headed towards the party somewhere in Mehrauli. The gang duly converged and as things stood we had 1 car more than what was required. The wise men conferred and it was decided that the one of us would drive the extra car and park it en-route at a friends place and join the others. Sensible too since the lady who did come in the car would need it to get back home and DefCol Nirulas was not exactly on the way home for her.

So the gang drove off "happy" only to realise after a while that both the extra car and driver were not to be spotted. Suddenly, amidst the traffic our lady car owner spotted a bearded grin typical to our driver friend a couple of cars away...only problem wrong car!!!

Our man had gone into the parking and tried the keys on the first Maruti 800 in the parking lot...not exactly a unique identifier one would say and as we learnt it neither were the keys!!

Well the rest of the eve was spent driving back and earnestly hoping the real owner of the car hadn't reported a stolen car.

The long and short of it...did not make it to the party that year!!

#2
Young blood. Young blood with alcohol thrown into it... not very smart.

Getting back after that public service message...this in my book is one of the most recalled responses in my friends circle.

Here's the scene... empty streets wee hours of the morning...race is on!!! One car zips past the other goes round the bend, the other car slows down goes round only to find the driver of the car kicking the air in disgust.

Our friend has rammed his car into a tree/parked car do not remember exactly.

We get off, ask him why in the heavens name he'd not veered clear coz we'd slowed down and there surely was room and he went "Dude...I was committed!!"


....to be continued and to close the first chapter a relatively unknown song called The Storyteller by Ray Davies

I'll tell you a story to pass on to the end,
as told to me so long ago by my good friend
As we hollowed round the log fire, we laughed the whole night long,
as he told me a tale passed on to him by a wanderin' vagabond
My friend told me the story and I'll pass it on to you
It was handed down this century and he swore that it was true

And in the morning I could see him fade
Was it fact or fiction? Who can say?
(Storyteller) I believe ev'ry word you say
(Storyteller) I bet you told a good tale in your day

He tried to tell the people, but the people wouldn't hear
him spinning yarns and telling tales from yesteryear

Then he smiled and finished his story
He said "Will you pass it on for me?"
(Storyteller) I'll tell that tale for you
(Storyteller) Somehow I'll get your message through

My friend told me the story and I'll pass it on to you
It was handed down this century and I swear that it is true

Ode to a Sibling

Is there a burial ground for a heartache?
A deep distant corner to bury your feelings
Of the sort that were suppressed
Emotions left unexpressed

The ache of a playmate lost
The agony of a companion gone
The hand that helped me walk
The one who shaped the way I write and talk
Never to come back again ..you're gone without a trace

Every time I've thought of you I've held back
Stopped myself from wondering
How it would have been had you been around
How you'd have felt
In my moments of joy and those when I was in pain

Years have passed yet the hurt remains
The unsaid and the unreleased is what I pen today
Don't need photographs on the wall
I close my eyes... I see your face

Yaari, Dosti etc.

Walked into Coffee Home at CP after a very, very long time. A thousand memories walked in along with me, but that is not what this piece is about. Sitting at the table alongside ours was a group of elderly gentlemen.Seemed like old pals catching up over coffee and snacks and that's what set me thinking.

Watching them break into occasional laughter, pulling each others leg and then shift gears into a serious discussion on a story playing out on one of the news channels for some strange reason evoked a feeling of time travel. It was as though I was looking at my circle of friends through a telescopic lens through time.

Will we have the pleasure of meeting up like this when we are 70?? How many of us would still be in touch??

Friendship, unlike other relationships has a wine like quality and each passing year makes it special.
I have mentioned in one of my posts that friends are family you can choose.

They say that God could not be every where so he made mothers. Friends in my book are on similar lines...only difference,they are a joint venture between Angels and Demons.

Friends are trust worthy;you can trust them to lead an expose of your most embarrasing moments at the most in-opportune of moments. Equally so, you can count on them to bail you out of awkward situations (well atleast they always try).

I remember this one time when a bunch of us wanted to go out partying late. We had to get this friend of ours out of his house (his dad was a terror codenamed Phantom!!). One of us volunteered to be the birthday boy. All was going as per plan till Phantom for some strange reason wanted to know what the date that day was. He looked up and asked our helpful birthday boy who went... "Umm..Ummm...Uncle 10th. No no no uncle... 11th uncle".

Old jungle saying "Only a fool crosses the Phantom".

Whether we were able to get our friend to party that night is anybody's guess..
Coming back; friends like lovers often talk about growing old together and wonder how they would be when they are older. They dream of togetherness forever.Take the quintessential Jai-Veeru kind of friendhip of Sholay or the more contemporary Dil Chahta Hai.

Friends perhaps are individual pieces of a jigsaw. It is loads of fun putting them together, making mistakes as we go along- putting the wrong ones next to one other. You make, you break, you make again trying to re-create what once was was or what it ought to be, because it takes all pieces for the picture to be complete.

Trouble is, sometimes some pieces go missing.

So here's to the existing pieces sticking together and living everyday like a Saturday night!

Closing with a very hummable song by KK that was a part of the soundtrack of Rockford

Yaaron dosti badi hi haseen hai

Yeh na ho to kya phir

Bolo yeh zindgi hai
Koi to ho raazdaar

Begaraz tera ho yaar

Koi to ho raazdaar....

....Teri har ek buraai pe daante woh dost

Gam ki ho dhoop to saaya bane tera woh dost

Naache bhi woh teri khushi main...

....Tan mann kare tum pe fida Mehboob woh

Palkon pe jo rakhe tujhe Mehboob woh

Jiski vafa tere liye ho.....

...Arrey Yaaron dosti badi hi haseen hai

Yeh na ho to kya phir

Bolo yeh zindgi hai..

From a long..long time ago.

Was cleaning up last week and found two sheets of paper tucked away in some arbit file full of college notes and sort. Here's what was written on them.

I Believe..
Sunlight streams through my window
But fails to lighten up my dark corners
The corners of my vacant heart
Life just passed me by
While I sat making other plans
A long winding highway with pain at every bend
A journey spent in waiting for the next milestone
Just tunnels without any light at the end
Good things come to those who wait they say
How much longer? How much further?
No stopovers, no goodbyes
No fleeting moments stolen from life
Lifes just a one way track headed nowhere
Hope is the fuel I run on
And I still wait because I believe
Yes, I believe

Mother
I walk alone
Trying to finda a way back home
I look for a landmark
Yet I keep coming back to the start
I am tired and strained
The sights and sounds seem unfamiliar
The shadows grow longer
I am scared and frightened
I see a light shining in the distance
Maybe....Yes!!....Oh God!!! ...Please let it be...
I open my eyes
Yes, I am home
A loving touch
A hand runs its fingers through my hair
It's you mother,
I am comforted by your tender loving care.

I don't remember what exactly I was going through or what inspired me to write this stuff.
All I know is that it was the sentiment within that got me through it.

Time to Quill

It has been a long time since my last post and there have been things that I have been wanting to write about. Do not know whether to blame it on actual paucity of time or on lethargy; fact of the matter...I did not write.

I am going to try something different this time. Instead of putting up different posts about one thought at a time, I will put up one post with multiple thoughts.

These are the things that crossed my mind since last October moreover, these are the ones I remember!!

1. Honesty-The Original Virtue: Yeah, yeah this one has been drilled into us since we can remember and some of us are naive enough to continue believing in and practising it. A sequence of events at work one fine morning reinforced my belief and resolve to continue.
2. Perception is Reality: In a world where time is at a premium and nobody stops to dig deeper the first impression as the cliche goes is practically the last impression. Comebacks though not impossible are extremely rare. Fact of the matter, managing perceptions at the workplace and for organisations in the market place is half the job and if done right; battle is won.
3. On Blunders and Bloated Egos: This is something I witness every week day on my drive back. While the city I live in (Delhi) boasts of the nothing short of brilliant Metro Rail we have the BRT corridor as well. Some wise guy said its the 8th wonder simply because everyone keeps wondering why it was ever built. There is a sign board on the corridor that justifies this by mentioning that it takes on an average 60 two-wheelers or 30 four-wheelers to accomodate the 70 passengers that just 1 bus can carry. The idiot who put this calculation up forgot a simple concept of frequency. No wonder 2 buses with 140 people slide through every 4 minutes while 200 cars and 100 motorbikes/scooters accumulate every min. Only thing that prevents powers that be from accepting this as a blunder is a hugely bloated ego further inflated by the recent electoral success.
4. Polite conversations and Courtesy appearances: How much are you willing to inconvenience yourself for the sake of a friend? Well, for a good friend it doesn't matter...all the time if need be. But what if the very friend for whom you inconvenienced yourself looses conviction? Confused? Well put yourself in this situation and you'll know what I mean. Imagine you agreeing to accompany a good friend to a party hosted by someone who you do not know or are barely acquainted. Imagine that you turn up and your good friend calls up and says he cannot make it. Hmmm....Things that you end up doing for friends.
5. Year 2009: I am not a firm believer in resolutions. There may be some merit in the thought that the reason might be that I have never lived upto any. However, this year there is just one thing that I have resolved to do or rather be and that is to stay positive.

So in a sense this post is the cleanser. I have through this released all the cynical, why do people behave like this, what am I doing here kind of thoughts.

...and to stitch it all up here is a song titled A Change in Me from the soundtrack of the musical/animated movie Beauty and the Beast

There's been a change in me
A kind of moving on
Though what I used to be
I still depend on
For now I realize
That good can come from bad
That may not make me wise
But oh it makes me glad
And I-- I never thought I'd leave behind
My childhood dreams
But I don't mind
For now I love the world I see
No change of heart
A change in me
For in my dark despair I slowly understood
My perfect world out there
Had disappeared for good
But in it's place I feel A truer life begin
And it's so good and real It must come from within
And I-- I never thought I'd leave behind
My childhood dreams but I don't mind
I'm where and who I want to be
No change of heart
A change in me

http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=_7JlLt03F6c&feature=related

Ae Zindagi

ज़िंदगी तुझ से न कम मिला न ही ज़्यादा पाया
खुशियाँ मिली तो गमों का भी दौर आया
मिली दीवाली सी रोशनी तो कभी दिया तले अंधेरा पाया
तूने जब दी तनहाई मुड़ के देखा तो साथ कारवाँ पाया

क्यों करें शोक हम तेरी किसी बात का
क्यों ज़ाया करें अभी तुझ पे जस्बात
तू जो भी दे मज़ा तो हम पूरा लूटेंगे
गिरें गर कभी तो फिर उठ खड़े होंगे

इंतेज़ार है उस दिंन का जब होंगे तेरे सामने
तेरी हर एक देन को "once more" कहेंगे
तब तक किसी चीज़ से शिकवा है न किसी से मलाल
तू जो भी दे मंज़ूर है गवारा है हर हाल

Ek re-take milega kya?

Yesterday was a very dear friends birthday.
Yesterday was also a day spent reminiscing.
Yesterday was a day spent wondering what it would have been like.

How many times have you come across people with the capability to live in the moment...no matter what..?More often than not these people have the capability to inject that bit of enthusiasm into dullards like yours truly.

The words "Chal, kuch kartein hain..." (come,let's do something) keep ringing in my ears time and again. How do you not think about a person who has pretty much been a part of the start of everything in your life...sport, eating out, partying, rock music....love. The chal kuch kartein hain has been responsible for many a thing and more often than not getting us into trouble!!

Shakespeare famously said and I quote
"All the world's a stage,
And all the men and women merely players:
They have their exits and their entrances;
And one man in his time plays many parts,
His acts being seven ages..."

Feel as though the script went horribly wrong somewhere. The curtains came down much earlier.
Just one thought though..."Ek re-take milega kya??"

Hazaron Khwaishein Aisi...

How many times do you rue your own fickle mind?

Does real life have Arjuns who just aim for the eye and see nothing else. Did the Tendulkar's,the Kishore Kumar's and the Bachchan's of the world not think, dream or desire anything else?

We all journey through life in phases. The circumstances, the aspirations and more importantly our capabilities; for better or for worse, keep changing. Is it then possible to have such single mindedness? Or is there the possiblity of this over-arching desire that pales all else?

They say life is all about making choices. How often has life presented you with choices that have been Black & White? Often it is about Like More vs. Like less and more often it is about Dislike More vs. Dislike Less. Some might say that it is a very pessimistic way of looking at things and might be right, but this is a view all the same.

Coming back to the seed of this blog.. an extremely popular sher (couplet) by Mirza Ghalib.

हज़ारों ख्ह्वाहिशें ऐसी की हर ख्ह्वाइश पे दम निकले
बहुत निकले मेरे अर्मां लेकिन फिर भी कम निकले

My translation of the couplet (a literal one)

Thousands of desires each worth dying for...

Many of my aspirations were fulfilled, yet they were too few...

Have heard this couplet many a time but have really been thinking about what Ghalib meant for over a week trying to interpret it and keyed in through this piece are my thoughts .

(The context also had a Hinglish movie by the same name directed by Sudhir Mishra starring Shiney Ahuja, KayKay Menon and Chitrangda Singh)

The play on words by Ghalib is interesting. The first part of the couplet talks about "Khwaishein" or Desires whereas the second talks of "Armaan" or Yearning/Aspiration and in my translation lies my intrepretation of this couplet.

Is there a distinction between Desire and Aspiration? Is there despair inspite of accomplishments?

Perhaps. Should we then realise these desires or be satisfied with aspirations that are fulfilled? Well, if there are thousand such desires and each one of them is worth dying for..I guess there is merit in punting on one. Either realising it in the long run or die trying. All other accomplishments/achievements are incidental, by-products at best, not the end product. That is the choice we need to make.

So here's to life, to desires, dreams and aspirations.

The Great Leveller

Centuries of attempts have not achieved
What a few decades of automobiles have.

Traffic of the 21st century has made devils of us all
Man or woman, old or young, rich or poor, short or tall

Give them a set of wheels and watch them change
Into this monster fiction would have found strange.
It jumps the signals and speeds away
Scant regard for tickets for it seldom pays
Lane sense doesn't mean a thing
Heck it cuts across at a crossing
This monster always seems to be in a hurry
A scratch here and a dent there are no cause for worry

The bike monster is on a trip its own
And does not seem to mind a broken bone
Over medians and foothpaths it rides
Nothing can stop it neither time nor tide
It takes pride and says this is who I am
and firmly believes honking is what clears a jam

The business monster drives while talking on the phone
the poor old monster in the jalopy thinks on the roads he's all alone
The lady monster shouldn't have a strand of hair out of place
She thinks the mirrors that are all around are meant to see her face
The teenage monster drives in the opposite lane and thinks its cool
Well! the folks waiting for the lights to change are just stupid fools

The drunken monster is the wayward guy
Who does'nt know how many drinks make him high
He has friends who do not make him wary
That one for the road is a thought thats scary

There's another monster who is a combination of all
Its called "Driver" and doesn't care if heavens fall

These are the accounts of a harried traveller
who believes traffic of today is a great leveller
Marx and the likes take a bow
Reforms can wait
coz socialism has a new face now.

Maa Tujhe Salaam

Must admit that we men have it easy. My six months as a father have been far easier that wifey's six as a mother.
It's incredible to keep your spirits up when forty winks are what you get instead of sleep, when you are worrying about the baby's next feed while you have fever @ 104 degrees, bathing her, making sure she gets her dose of vitamins and not forgetting that Mommy needs to take her Iron & Calcium too.
While I like to think that I do help and at other times justify not doing enough by thinking that we both have our roles to play; the fact of the matter is that all that I've done or been through does not add up to a tenth of the emotional drain this has been on her.

Over the past six months I have watched her juggle being a mother, a wife, a daughter, a daughter-in-law and re-establishing credentials at work with amazement.

And now as Mithi starts to utter what sound like words there is one constant fear (despite a lot of hope) that the first word that she'll say is "Papa" instead of "Mama". Just in case she does here's a huge IOU on her behalf. For all that you've gone through...Maa Tujhe Salaam!

Back on demand to close this piece are a few lines from a recent song by ASHANTI
"I would never let a tear fall from your eyes,
cause everything you are to me,
I could never let you hurt inside,
You mean so much and I'm so thankful that your in my life,
And I appreciate your love and all sacafice,
Without you by my side,I never could survive,
I wouldn't be the woman standing here before your eyes,
...You have given me life and I just want you to know,
that you're the reason I'm here today I will never let go,
To everything that we shared and nothing can compare
I thank you, I thank you, I thank you is what I'm saying.
...See I've been blessed to be raised by a woman so strong,
Cuz even when I did things wrong,
you would show me just the way that I should carry on.
You kept me safe and you protected me with all you had,
and anytime I was in need you gave your very last
Without you by my side, I never could survive,
I wouldnt be the woman standing here before your eyes.
....Said I thank you and I love you,
And I will never ever place no one above you.
Said I thank you and I love you,
and I will never ever place no one above you.
See you have given me life and I just want you to know,
that you're the reason I'm here today I will never let go,
to everything that we shared and nothing can compare
I thank you, I thank you, I thank you is what I'm saying."

Cozy Corners

Have you ever attended one of those workshops meant for team building? If you are a salaried professional with over 2 years of experience chances are you have, perhaps more than once.

Attended a workshop (again!!) last week that initiated my thought about how much or how little the team building achieves beyond the usual.

Typically, these workshops place you into a group. Would like to believe some science that gets put in while the groups are being formed and of course "randomness" is a scientific explaination. I have observed over several such workshops that there is a fair amount of bonhomie and banter while the groups are new or while they are in the midst of "team-assignments". The sad part however, is the fact that the moment there is a break, people like kids in kinder-garten run to the folks from their "own-gang".

Now the question is whether such exercises really facilitate better understanding between the larger "Team" by building new bridges that are desired for organisational good or do they just help put some more concrete on to the old one?

Why is it that people resist venturing out and building one more bridge? Is it because the comfort the trodden path offers is too welcoming? Why do most such exercises end up as corridor pleasantries which too subside over time?

Here, I would like to introduce a concept of the New Kid on the Block (NKOTB), when confronted with a situation most people stand by the sidelines and watch other kids play waiting for that one acknowledging smile;hoping someone would come up and pull them in. There are few however who themselves walk across and announce themselves or by virtue of their talent/skill manage to attract the attention of the others (remember roller-skating,cycling or hitting the hoops to be the major wows when I was a child).

Getting back..the reason I feel people rush back to their "gangs" is that they do not want to go through the process of "establishing credentials" time and again. Once they've done so with a certain set of people they'd rather deal with those set of expectations rather than manage new ones. Guess these gangs are like those warm blankets (my female friends would get the analogy), their corner of the room where they are secure...their cozy corners.

And now here's my take ..... The Theory of Comfort
As an individual ages and matures the social circle expands forming 4 distinct pockets (see image)
1)Family

2)Residence

3)Education and

4)Work
Within each of these pockets one gets to interact and associate with several others (degrees of separation taken into account) who then over a period of time settle at different levels of proximity (and these distances do change over time). The closest set in each of these pockets are what I call the "Cozy Corners". When put into situations individuals do venture deeper (either on their own initiative or others-refer NKOTB concept above) into these pockets; sometimes to add members and sometimes to replace. The guiding factor being the permanancy of this situation.

To sum up, workshops and the team assignments within them represent short-term situations consequently while people do establish linkages with new people they quickly come back to the comfort of their cozy corners and stay there till a more permanent situation confronts them.

Food for thought for all the consultants and folks who specialise in the area of people dynamics.

The Beggar

Here's a real old one I found in one of my old mails. Think I wrote this during school days, here goes..

I’ve seen many a time, a beggar.
He sits under the old oak you know,
Just down the street.
He sits there with his hands spread
Crying out just, just a rupee for today’s bread.
He is pitiable.
I wonder why he took to begging.
He is not disabled, that much I know
And his handicap, it never does show.
Was it joblessness? I asked.
But to this he just smiled.
My attempts to know him were futile,
And he’s been there all this while.
I’ve known him for ten years now
And till today I wonder, why?
But my questions get lost in his smile.

With Malice Towards One and All

Have you ever known someone who doesn't like you for no particular fault of yours??? Strangely but truly enough such people do exist.

The sad part is that because of their attitude they are able to set you off on a path of introspection. You go over every single encounter and wonder when you might have stepped on their toes. But ofcourse, you are not bound to come up with anything because you never did!

Take a step back and you realise that's how these people are. Nothing or no one is ever good enough for them.

In my opinion, such behaviour is perhaps triggered by some deep-seated feeling of insecurity; an inferiority complex or perhaps envy. This need not necessarily be because of you. These people have the unique capability of zeroing in on that one thing you perhaps are better at or have more of, overlooking all else and therefore you end up receiving the cold vibes that you do.

Honestly, all of us somewhere or the other have these feelings inside us too, may be we just end up managing them better. The set of people I'm referring to allow these feeling to manifest and also allow the negativity to pervade their whole being.

Is there a way out of this spiral? Well. I hope so.

Even though I continue to be amazed, I have learnt to live with it or should I say with them.

Anger Management

How often have you yelled at someone and ended up feeling miserable about it yourself? As Joe Fox (Tom Hanks character in You've Got Mail) put it"....when you eventually have the pleasure of saying the thing you want to say at the moment you’re wanting to say it... remorse eventually follows... "
You do not venture out looking to pick a fight with someone but as they say (sh)IT HAPPENS! What they forget to add is that it happens real fast. Often you do not have the time to think through your argument and that's when you draw up on the this reserve of hateful things that I believe is pre-wired into all of us but is very rarely used by us.

(Yes there are some who do it all the time....the world generally refers to them as a$%$^les)

How else do you explain this spiteful doppelganger? Alternately, how do you explain the remorse?
Perhaps this some kind of a sub-conscious way of venting things. Thinking of it...if you stay dormant for extended periods the damage that an eruption causes is more extensive. Perhaps because there is more vegetation around the dormant volcano than an active one. Extending that line of thought... it is also said that after all the dust settles down the area around the volcano is also very fertile.

So, manage your anger... it's OK to get angry once in a while. Just make sure when you do so, you are not on the road and if you are... then make sure that you are not outnumbered..if you are..you better have a Schumi doppelganger as well!!

Culture Shauk!!!

Funny how infectious certain things are.Take the culture bug for instance. (But ofcourse, I am using the term "Culture" to denote any pursuit in the direction of fine arts such as writing, music, dance etc).
Last I remember witnessing this kind of infection spread was during Halcyon. Coming back..work is fun these days and also the source of this infection. Quite a few of my colleagues are making time to write, learn dancing, learning to play the guitar etc.
Have a feeling that this environment of pursuing one's hobby or interest or "shauk" (in Urdu) has contributed to my becoming regular with my blog and also made me realise the value of what I touched in one of my earlier posts (Follow Your Dreams).
So this is an ode to all my colleagues. Thank you guys!!

Olympic Spirit

This is after a really long time that I'm writing 2 pieces at one go! So here's the other part of the double-bill!
They say the Olympic spirit is all about participating and not about winning. Yet others say winning is not everything it is the only thing.
Sports in my mind is all about performing better and or overcoming an opponent,a competitor or sometimes obstacles or hurdles and emerging a victor.
Was in China recently and made time to see the Great Wall. The realisation of the meaning of the Olympic Spirit is a resultant of my tryst with this man-made wonder.
I went to the Great Wall at Badaling,located more than 70 kilometers northwest from the center of Beijing City. I started of at the Base and took the trail to the left supposedly the shorter one (also the steeper one as I learnt)
As I climbed steps, I'd look up and what would be visible would be the security posts. On reaching the first one, I could see the next. I egged myself on saying it's not everyday that you visit the Great Wall. After crossing 3 posts/landings I thought I'd be at the summit, but there was more.It's then that I realised this would go on for over 1,500 miles (or whatever the length is) that this adventure was not about conquering something but about experiencing it. Here's to the Olympic spirit!!!